Date Lab: The most interesting part of the date was when we talked about rating it -

For Anney Bolgiano, 29, being selected for Date Lab was “surreal.” The Maryland native said she’s been “religiously” reading the column for a long time, and over the years it has been a topic of conversation among family, friends and roommates. However, she didn’t consult any of them when the impulse to apply came over her this past winter break.

As the 5 p.m. Zoom date approached, Anney confessed that she was all nerves. “What if something terrible happens and it goes viral? It’s giving up control,” she said. Anney, a writer and an English lecturer, has dated men and women in the past. She is drawn to people who are “close to their family, artistic and passionate about something.”

We set her up with a fella who is definitely passionate — about statistics. Keith Zirkle, 29, who works as a statistician, was relaxed about meeting Anney, but his mind was occupied elsewhere. “I’m very focused on the confounding variables,” he told me. “The date can’t end too early or everyone will know it went bad.”

The Virginia native is also open to dating men and women. “I started dating men about a year and a half ago. It didn’t feel drastically different. But I have not successfully dated a man either, so it really hasn’t impacted success,” he said with a laugh.

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He was excited about this opportunity because he feels “desensitized” by dating apps. He’s seeking someone who is “adventurous, ambitious and has intellectual curiosity.”

In preparation for the date, Anney made sure to have “the varsity team” of her 50 plants on display, and Keith noticed her efforts. “She had a bunch of big plants behind her and they were live plants, not fake,” he said. “She was fake insulted when I asked her if they were real.” Keith revealed that he had faux plants, and Anney told me, “At first I was like, ‘Oh. He’s a fake.’ But then he said he saved them from the dumpster and I thought, ‘Aww. He recycles!’”

As far as first impressions go, they seemed to be on the same page. Keith said she was “really cute” and looked “bookish” in her glasses. Anney’s reaction: “He’s a cute guy on a screen.”

While chatting over dinner, Keith discovered that Anney had a desire to support a local restaurant when she ordered food. He felt that move showed that she is kind, which is something he values in people. Anney felt similarly when Keith told her that he is more afraid of giving someone covid than getting it. “It’s important to me to be with someone who thinks and cares about other people,” she said.

As the evening went on, the conversation took a slightly dark turn. “He asked, ‘If you could know when you are going to die, would you want to know?’ I said no and he said yes, so he could plan,” Anney told me. “He’s very pragmatic.”

The attraction was virtually immediate

“If I only have a handful of days left to live, I would do more and see more, but if I have 60 more years, I have time to pace things,” said Keith. “In general, I think we should all ‘live like you were dying,’ to quote Tim McGraw.”

Anney wasn’t taken aback by the morbid conversation. “I appreciate it more than talking about what TV shows we like. Let’s be real with each other. Let’s challenge each other,” she said.

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Keith felt they were kindred spirits when it came to talking about their academic pursuits. “Most people glaze over, but we were more seriously interested in what the other person studied and learned,” he said. “I was interested in her writing. She has a lot of intellectual curiosity.”

At 7:30, they wrapped up the date, and Keith asked for her number and suggested going on a hike in a few weeks. While Anney was happy to exchange cell numbers, there was another number that intrigued her more. “The most interesting part of the date was when we talked about rating it,” she said. “He is a statistician, so he used a phrase like ‘confidence interval,’ and I am a [lecturer] and I believe in labor-based grading.” According to Anney, they agreed to give each other the same rating. “So if he doesn’t, then he is misrepresenting,” she said with a chuckle.

Rate the date

Anney: 4.55 [out of 5]. “The conversation was good enough that I’m willing to see if we both have chemistry.”

Keith: 4.12. He had decided his rating before their discussion about an agreed upon number. “It was a good date, we got along, and a 3, while being a true average, would seem like a ding. But it didn’t reach the 4.5 wow factor.”

Update

After thinking about it for a few days, Anney texted Keith that she wasn’t feeling a romantic connection but was still interested in keeping in touch if he was. Keith agreed that he too didn’t feel any chemistry. “All in all, Anney seems like a great person, but a pandemic is not always ideal for sustaining new friendships, so we shall see,” Keith said.

Correction: In an earlier version of the story, confounding variables was misstated. It has been corrected.

Vijai Nathan is a writer and comedian in Washington.

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